I BELIEVE ... SO I FLY

Zazen

2011-03-10T17:59:00.004+05:30

ZAZEN

Can you express all that you feel in words?
Have you experienced a state of consciousness where you are so full of such complex ideas that... you not only can't just write the words but also realize that the words aren't sufficient to describe what you are feeling or thinking...
...
At normal times like now when I am writing this post, I can tell you that thinking and feeling are different.
They are two discrete state of being...
...
But are they really?

Have you experienced such a state of 'Being' where what you think is what you feel and what you feel is what you think?
...
Do we really pay attention to these kind of things?
Is it really Important to pay attention to these kind of things?
...
I don't know. And I don't know who knows.

I end with this last question...
...
Can we understand fully what we are doing or what we have done if we do not sit back and reflect at it?

I have to sit back and look... and reflect... and meditate...
Finally I may not understand but I will know.

The Curse of the Aquarian

2011-03-09T04:20:00.064+05:30

AIR & WATER

I am the air.

You are the earth.

I am the kite on the sky.

You are the hand holding the string.

There is no string but you still hold me.

I don't like anybody holding me back.

Though I know if you leave me I wont fly.

I know its that earth which is holding me back.

I so hate you although I won't exist without you.

I don't want to have to do anything with you.

I long for something which holds me but is not earth.

But deep down I know inside

There is nobody else except us.

Because I only see air and earth.

And you are my only hope.

I would be delighted to meet you

And I know so will you be.

But we know if we meet we will lose ourselves and perish.

Maybe we don't want to meet

We just want to co-exist... and stay in our illusion

Maybe I can just touch you and blow away some dust

For as long as I am here... my whole physical existence...

I will try to stay in the illusion that you are not earth...

My soul laments for it knows the truth

I... aquarian... is this my curse?

Our mind/brain - Analogue and Digital

2010-08-11T04:41:00.001+05:30

In the last note I shared what we perceive and why we do so. This article talks about an alternate form of perception, which if present would have been (or is) an interesting change from the monotony of the current way of perception.

How do we perceive the things we generally see? We usually take all the information we say at once and our brain processes all the information we get through our senses at once.

Eyes being one of the most powerful senses are the first to react. If we keep looking for an extended period of time, we start looking at various minute components of what we see, one by one. These minute components have various characteristics. These characteristics are perceived by the brain at once. However if we spend more time on one of the characteristics, we begin to compare it with a similar characteristic of another component. Then the brain may form one or more analogies and may indulge in comparisons or even judgement.

Consider a person walking into a garden. The moment he enters his brain processes what he sees and the brain classifies this setting as a "garden". Then he spends some time observing, through his various senses and may look at a flower bed. Then he starts looking at individual flowers. Then he may start observing the colour, fragrance, shape etc. (characteristic) of the flowers. After this information is processed, maybe in a fraction of a second, the brain may start comparing one or more characteristic.Lets say in this case, fragrance is being compared. This characteristic may then be compared to the fragrance of another flower. After this the brain forms connections. "X flower had a similar fragrance to the one I am currently smelling now".

Alternate Reality - How would you like it if you could look at something and your brain processed all the information at once separately and you could look at what information is being processed.Something similar to multi tasking in computers - opening a new tab for each existing component. Alongside, you are also aware of all the tabs that are being opened to perceive the individual components.

The brain became so fast that we could actually observe the thoughts gliding from one to another.

Extending the previous example in this scenario. the man walks into the garden. 6 tabs open for flower beds of 6 colours, each tab then subdivides into singular flowers in the bed and then further subdivides into characteristics of the flowers ... tabs are also opened for the various analogies, comparisons etc. But the best part, we are also aware of all the tabs that are being opened and all the processing that is going on inside them.

In my view, the first way of perception mentioned here is in total continuity and the second way presents the information in discrete blocks. A good analogy will be that the first information is analog and the second one is digital.

In both the cases, the perception is complete. A person sees the garden However the quality of information is different. This, in turn may lead to differences in the knowledge generated from the information that is perceived.

Perhaps this is what the scriptures meant when they talked about having control of our thoughts and minds. According to me, the richness of information in the second way of perception is greater - but that is another discussion

Of FEAR and PERCEPTION

2010-07-13T06:08:00.002+05:30

There are many questions in our mind, most of the times.

And whether we want it or not our brain usually wants an answer for all of them.

The we I am referring to here is the concept of self. It is not what others have told us about us. It is not what we have been conditioned to believe we are. It is raw instinct. It is the summation of ideas we have about ourselves.

Each and every question is answered by the brain to the brain. Usually the questions get classified as soon as we hear them.Some of the answers are logical and some of them are just constructs made by the mind and thought of as a basic truth. These constructs are often formed just to answer a question and to make life easier for us (our brain).

There are some questions which are indeed very very important and to be answered. Some of these questions are based upon our numerous so called "truths". These questions need to be answered before we can truly answer other questions. However, the answers to these questions are often very difficult to determine. To address this issue, the brain creates an imaginary construct. This enables us to make good sense of whatever is happening around us and whatever questions that arise in our mind due to it.

Taking the words the genius, Albert Einstein, further,Everything is something in relation to and in comparison with something else.

When the brain "finds" an answer, the thirst or desire to find the answer to that particular question is satiated. The brain then moves along to newer questions and the previous questions. If the brain has answered a question with a construct of its own, it is usually taken as a truth and the question is not re-questioned unless the brain gets data which adds to the information pertaining to the subject.

However the brain also has a fear after a question has been answered. What if the answer formed is wrong and the construct is invalid? The magnitude of this fear decreases over time as we successfully "answer" a lot questions using the same construct we had formed earlier. this logic is usually able to subdue the fear we were previously talking about and the question remains "answered"

One such important construct in our brain is of perception. Our brain has created this construct, so that we make good sense of what we perceive. What we see, what we hear, what we smell, what we taste and what we feel by touching - all have been associated to specific words and have been labelled the five senses.

This construct is rarely challenged - basically because it is easy to understand and because it is able to answer all of our questions about perception logically.

But sometimes, due to some reason, "fear" in the brain takes over the driver seat and is sufficient in magnitude to overcome the "logic".

Have you imagined how you would feel in such a condition where the basic general principle of perception stands on shaky ground?

What you experience then is nothingness. You don't have a "logical" answer to any of your questions. This is because this single construct answered all your questions. And when the minuscule fear took over the construct and toppled it, subsequent fears arose. These "fears" spread like a plague and overcame the logic in each single question in the mind.

The only thing you might possess in such a situation is a knowledge of self. And that too, only if you have done quite a bit of self reflection in the past.

This if present, I believe, is an achievement in itself.

So... as they say it... I am what I am

2010-03-10T21:23:00.002+05:30

Isn't extraordinary actually ordinary in some way

And isn't ordinary extraordinary?

Do I always need to be something?

Am not I something now?

I think sometimes of these things

The one thing I m sure is my being

Lock and load. Fire. Spam.

I am what I am.

2009-11-21T22:50:00.003+05:30

an episode of 'two and a half men' daily. is dat all i call happiness???

and i was wondering why i watch 10 episodes of dat daily.

i know u wont get it. but i dont wanna explain coz i know dat you wont get it anyways. because u know at d end of d day. u never get it. although its not very hard to get it.

U dont even observe. and when u claim u do.... wheres d richness. coz if u observe theres no point if the observation is not rich. i know its complicated. let it be.period.

Of limericks and challenges

2008-03-02T01:11:00.006+05:30

so i was talking with somu today and she told me dat i copy and write stuff on my blog...
i said i di but not all of it and wherevr i copy i say so...
so i gave her a challenge dat i ll write poems on her word...

i ll give u d exerpts from gtalk...

poochiekitty: likho to..on mosquitoes
saswat: ok here i go

oooh that buzzing sound u make.....
and my precious sleep you break.....
go away or i ll kill you..
with my electronic fly squatter
which is brand new

like it?
poochiekitty: was it suppsd 2 rhyme?
saswat: :) did it not rhyme?
its not a poem actually
its a limerick
poochiekitty: that it seemd
saswat: a short poem of 4 5 lines
poochiekitty: not even that..
saswat: 4 or 5 lines
poochiekitty: 5 lines
saswat: ya
another topic
u liked the previous 1?
poochiekitty: heart-touchin..
next...
saswat: mosquito killin???
poochiekitty: no..
saswat: next wat?
poochiekitty: cockroach
saswat: cum on....
ok i ll do it
here i go

so u havent changed at all?
seen the dinosaurs seen them all
but remember pride goeth before a fall
so get out of my bathroom
before i squash you against the wall
:)
poochiekitty: subhaan allah!!!!!
saswat: tomorrow gimme better topics dan ones from class insecta.....
i hope i lll do better

MY BLANKET... MY LOVE

2008-03-01T01:01:00.005+05:30

WHY NOW I LOVE MY BLANKET MORE THAN MY GIRLFRIEND :

Its is warm.
It is cozy.
It is so soft.
It loves to get dirty. :)
Whether on my top or below me - it has no objections...
It prevents mosquitoes biting me...
It helps me pretend that I am reading... while actually I am fast asleep.
It does not behave snobbishly.... whether i eat on it... soil it... etc etc... It has no damn objections!
It is low maintenance... unlike a girlfriend which requires daily maintenance and that too costly... like treats out... shopping... clothes... nail varnish.... nd goddamn what not.
It cannot bore me with stupid damn talk.
It cannot blabber nonsense like ... the neighbours dog had a puppy...
I dont have to 'behave' and 'be respectable' with it.
Till death do us part.... till it is torn it would be with me... unlike a girlfriend who may be unfaithful...

but then its only speculation... I still dont have a girlfriend and maybe dats why i dont know........

UNBREAK MY HEART

2008-02-13T11:29:00.004+05:30

The world seems so unreal. And then unreality says something is real here.
That reality is something i want to immerse myself in. Immerse myself in you.
Lose cognizance of my heart. Cognizance of my self. Cognizance of my soul.
Wish i could lose cognizance of my ALL.

But then its a WISH... Just a WISH.....
Which remains as UNREAL as it can be...........

unless of course U COME.....
make things REAL....
Help me put away my sword....
Remove my armour....
Wash the blood from my skin....
Heal my numb body.... and my numb soul....
and then.....

UNBREAK MY HEART

OLD SONG >> SAME EMOTIONS

2008-02-12T03:01:00.000+05:30

Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more

Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

Look into your heart - you will find
There's nothin' there to hide
Take me as I am - take my life
I would give it all - I would sacrifice

Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

There's no love - like your love
And no other - could give more love
There's nowhere - unless you're there
All the time - all the way

Oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
I would fight for you - I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you - ya I'd die for you

Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

1 more thing

2008-02-12T02:44:00.000+05:30

Know wat?
my birthday passed...
on January 25
i turned 21

ready to marry....
but my bride s away
she isnt even talkin to me....

GOD...Unbreak my heart...
( should i have written goddess there? coz only she can do it...)

LONG TIME NO SEE >>>> HUH?

2008-02-12T02:21:00.000+05:30

Thats what my blog asked me when i signed in....

In my hurry to write something... i forgot what i had to write.....

WEll the latest update on my status....

Studies:
CAT results out: 94.67 percentile....
cud have done better...
XAT : 96 percentile... but screwed up my maths portion...

outrite rejects: all IIMs , XLRI , XIMB , SIBM
call and reject : SCMHRD

calls left : MICA < TAPMI < KJ SOMAIYA < GIM

expectant (though hesitant ) SP JAIN < FMS

lets see what happens....

The rose - that is you

2007-10-14T00:09:00.000+05:30

Some say love it is a river
that drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razor
that leaves your soul to bleed

Some say love it is a hunger
an endless aching need
I say love it is a flower
and you it's only seed

It's the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
that never takes the chance

It's the one who won't be taken
who cannot seem to give
and the soul afraid of dying
that never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
and the road has been too long
and you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong

Just remember in the winter
far beneath the bitter snows
lies the seed that with the sun's love
in the spring becomes the rose

Thoughts after playing Max Payne 2

2007-10-09T01:14:00.000+05:30

This is love.

When someone drags you from the wreckage when you have given in, ready to just lie there and die.

This is love.

When someone, no matter what the cost, shows you there is hope, a choice, that you can put down your gun.

This is love.

Love hurts.

Quite believable : but i ll say.You cannot die if you are not strong enough

2007-07-30T21:18:00.000+05:30

funny one....

2007-07-06T00:42:00.000+05:30

HEADLINES DATED 1ST JAN 2023:
1. President Sonia Gandhi and prime minister Priyanka Gandhi receive Italy prime minister Rahul Gandhi.
2. Dhoom 17 ready for release.
3. I will play next world cup - Sachin Tendulkar
4. Salman, Vivek and Abhishek attend Aishwarya's 3rd marriage .
5. Abhi toh Mein jawan hoon - Dev Anand.
6. Petrol Rs.999 / litre (Bata price).
7. Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi completed 2,50,000 episodes & Baa has completed 400yrs. 8. Coach Ganguly resigns, as India is knocked out of World Cup in 1st round after losing to Korea
9. Siddhu launches his own TV channal where he can speak and laugh for the whole day.
10. After giving 49 flop movie in a row himesh reshamiya is coming in hollywood romantic movie sequel titanic 3.

u laughed....

my bro sent it to me...

hi there.... some weird game called tagging....

2007-06-21T23:57:00.000+05:30

...Here are the rules:
Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following.
They MUST be real places, names, things...NOTHING made up!
If you can't think of anything, skip it.
Try to use different answers if the person before you had the same 1st initial.
You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question.
So here it goes...

Your Name: Saswat

Famous Singer/Band: Sting

4 letter word: stop

Street: sachivalaya marg

Color: safed... dats 4 white

Gifts/Presents: shoes

Vehicle: Space shuttle

Things in a Souvenir Shop: Sitar

Boy Name: Snehasis

Girl Name: Subhasree

Movie Title: Saudagarr

Drink: Sherbet ( or else soda)

Occupation: Steel tycoon

Flower: sunflower

Celebrity: Shakira

Magazine: Sportstar

City:Saitama(japan)

Pro Sports Teams: Sevilla (soccer)

Fruit:strawberry

Reason for Being Late for Work: socks were lost

Something You Throw Away: skins of bananas

Things You Shout: Sucker! gettoutta my way

Cartoon Character: scooby doo... where r u???

i donnow how to tag others.
so ... goddamn... this was good fun....
varshu gimme such more games

hi friends i am back

2007-06-15T22:46:00.000+05:30

hi friends...

i went to XLRI
to see off my brother.

Beautiful place hmmm?.ya definitely it is...
now i return back here....

ready to take on the world....

would i get through IIM?
i donnow?
but i am confident as never before.

let you find me this this time next year at IIM....

amen.

CATS LOOK BEAUTIFUL....

2007-06-15T22:40:00.000+05:30

HI FRIENDS...
look at this pic...

theres nothing like sleep.... taking a short nap....
the chick here is fake...

i got this in d album of one of my friends...pooja
they are so cute...

long time no seee ehhh????

2007-06-08T17:05:00.000+05:30

hey i was busy ....

i am preparin for CAT u see...

and dat calls for some serious ass cracking preparatory levels.....

well i had nothing to write....

jst today i gotta nice wallpaper...

hope u like it frnds....

THE WAR HAS BEGUN ! ! !

2007-05-25T00:45:00.000+05:30

The darkness rests upon my silhouette.

I allow it to do so.

It is raining.

I throw off my armour.

It has been a long day...

The blood on my sword seems black...

Has it tasted vile blood? Has the darkness taken its colour?

I know not.

The rain rinses off the blood from my sword...

And from my body.

I don't know why i fight...

But wait! maybe i do.

If i dont fight they will kill me.

No i am not afraid of death...

I am afraid that i will not live...

Afraid that my roses will grey...

But even if i am afraid i will stand up!

I will stand up and fight...

Destroy those scums...

Why do they fight when they dont know how to?

When they know they dont stand a chance...

When they know i ll rip them to shreds...

When they know my sword has no mercy...

When they know i can flatten them all...

And when they know just my armour without my blade is as deadly?

Perhaps they dont know.

Or maybe they fight...

just in hope........

That i will fear something.... ANYTHING...

It is dark.

They cant see me neither do i

I sense them coming near.

Hundreds of them... may be thousands...

Numbers dont decide who wins fools!

COURAGE does !!!!

they think i fear the darkness...

fools!

You bring about your own fall.

You cant take me down.

I shall not sleep

I will sleep only when I will!

I will not wake up after that.

They dont sense my strength.

My weakness is my biggest strength.

The blood in which they put my roses has not dried...

It still is red...

And it still spills over...

Ahhhhh now you say me to spare you all???

No you will pay for whatever you have done...

I am not your nemesis . But i shall behave as one...

My sword is thirsty for your vile blood...

I shall not spare any one of you

And i shall not even pray for your souls to rest in peace.

I know not what love is.

I knew once... now i dont...

Or am i doing this coz i REALLY know wat love is???

( A REALLY WEIRD AND FUNNY PIECE OF MY WRITING )

IT HAPPENED WITH ME......B CAREFUL IT DOESNT HAPPEN WITH U

2007-05-24T17:53:00.000+05:30

YA ITS TRUE...

WE DONT REALISE THE VALUE OF WHAT WE HAVE
UNTIL WE DONT HAVE IT ANYMORE

from a frnds album

2007-05-24T17:41:00.000+05:30

dont say me not to love u........

coz as bryan adams sang.........

such is d state of this heart.....

CANT STOP THIS THING WE STARTED

one of my friends writings i just love it

2007-05-23T16:33:00.000+05:30

all the things said and done...had my duty done too.

they took a quarter of my blood.it was red.

but i've lied for the years that i've lived.a truth was built on lies.

it took confessions to dress up my flesh.yeah,skin is my fav apparel.

i cut a line on my arms.it'll remind me if i win flawlessly.remind me that i'ad been to a war.

the wolves are waiting.they've already made me weak.

not because i fear their claws.i fear the bait they're holding.

the bait is myself.my....self..........

puttin on my torn armour,i belt down my waist,the sword hurts still at the back.

i still remember that day.the day i had fed the hungry wolf,

a human wolf...

do we have to wait to kill him.thats what they must be talkin now...

i don't fear you rusts...

what do u think..my tears of blood will stop me from killin u all,

i'll smash the hell out of you felons...save urselves...

now only i'm bleeding but i've got enough blood to run a thousand miles still...

the sun feared me...it still does...it still is there.

but hey,,no one's here,this can't be...i was asked to run,pushed to fight,dragged to the dusk and now solaced to death....

the sun doesn't set.it gives me way to set first.i lie on my shadow.

i see my corpse lying on the way down..i understand what i wanted.

i won't let my roses turn grey.i'll keep my roses stay red.

i cut a slit on my skin.yes,my blood is still red.

i'll keep my roses stay red.

THIS WAS WRITTEN BY PRUTHESH MY FRIEND

THOUGHT FOR TODAY...WELL SOME DAYS

2007-05-23T16:14:00.000+05:30

SHIPS ARE SAFE IN THE HARBOUR

BUT THATS NOT WHY SHIPS ARE MADE

HAPPY

2007-05-23T15:57:00.000+05:30

BORED

2007-05-23T15:55:00.000+05:30

PENSIVE

2007-05-23T15:52:00.000+05:30

THIS WAS TAKEN ON MARCH 28... ON MY FRNDS MOBILE CAMERA
DO I LOOK LIKE RANDEEP HOODA HERE?

A NEW DAY

2007-04-27T22:00:00.000+05:30

i did not know how to create a blog
varsha she tole me
thanks